May

May! We have made it to May! It was a milestone I set for myself at the beginning of bed rest in mid-March. I would just say, if I could just make it to May. And here we are! I do not know if we will meet Mallory this month or not but knowing that we are closer than further away makes me happy.

I really can't believe that I've been on bed rest now for 1 month and 1/2. It's become my new normal but some days are still better than others. I've tried to stay positive every day but I'm human and at the end of last week, I let my human emotions come through. I was over bed rest. I just wanted to get in the car and drive somewhere, anywhere. Bed Rest is hard - I know people think - how can it be hard when you are resting all day? It's hard to explain but Friday I felt the walls closing in - I had to get out.

I've prayed for peace everyday and have tried to be thankful through it all. I am thankful for a healthy growing child. I am thankful that my blood pressure is lower when I'm resting. I am thankful for all of the most amazing friends and family you could ask for - all the visits and food have kept me going. I am thankful for my job and the sanity it brings me. I am most thankful for the closer I feel that I have gotten to God ... I'm learning and growing each day. There are so many things to be thankful for and I know I need to remember that every morning. But I also know it's ok to be human and to let my emotions out instead of holding them in. Nobody's perfect.

Brian has been a great husband throughout it all. He's done so much and taken me places to get me out. He lets me cry on him and listens to me when I just need to say I'm over it. I want him to still be able to go out and do things and not let my bed rest keep him from doing things. He will be a great Father!

All this to say, I know it will be worth it in the end when I am holding my daughter in my arms. I know people have been on bed rest for much longer times than me so I'm grateful that I only have 5 more weeks to go at the most. I'm calling May my official "nesting" month. I'm trying to make sure we get everything we need and get it all organized. And if we don't, it's not the end of the world.

Sunday, we did go to Wal Mart and got our glider and ottoman. I love it! Another item crossed off the list! The nursery is coming together!

Sunday morning, our sermon was over Living by Faith and one of the points that our pastor said was in order to live by faith, we must have a willingness to Let go of one thing so you can hold on to another. I need to let go of thinking I have everything in my control - it's not in my control, it's in God's and I need to let God do it His way, not my way. And bed rest is God's Way so here I am serving Him in the best way I can.

Thank you for listening to this extremely long, honest post. I'm grateful to the blog world and the joy it brings me everyday! Praying for you all! God Bless!