Friday, August 21, 2009

Hilarious Thoughts

I saw this on my friend Kati's Facebook and I had to post in on my blog... I think these thoughts are so hilarious and so true - you know you've thought many of the these thoughts at one time! Enjoy!

Random thoughts from people 25-35 years old..

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tellmy own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you'regoing in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed tobe going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in thedirection from which you came, you have to first do something likecheck your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter toyourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you'recrazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choosenot to be friends with?

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn'twork? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magicallyfix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger andsuddenly realize I had no idea really what was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actuallybecomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone'slaughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a littlebit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still theonly one who really, really gets it.

How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand thantake 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clearyour computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nodand smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams upto prevent somebody from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road andinstinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure Iknow how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in theshower first and THEN turn on the water.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just gotthe Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind ifI do!

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspringwould probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to goaround and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at workwhen you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anythingproductive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don'twant to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks meif I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that Iswear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of peoplewatching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren'twatching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up andleave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?) but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phoneand run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then notseeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle,then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruisingspeed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and stillnot know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

I wonder if cops ever get mad at the fact that everyone theydrive behind obeys the speed limit.

6 comments:

Josh and Shan said...

Oh my gosh! This was HI-larious!!

Michelle Meals said...

That is RIDIC and TRUE! Love it.

The Killough's said...

Wow, I can't tell you how many times I said, "Omg! That is me!!!"

Allie said...

So funny! I totally LOL many times (haha!)

Gay said...

well i'm beyond the age limit but still loved this post. thanks. Oh and Amanda thanks again so much for the upgrade at WOF on Sat. morn.

Lindsey said...

That was so funny. Thanks for sharing!

Just two comments:
1) I think I've reached the point where I have decided I'm doing nothing productive the rest of the day. Actually, I'm a couple hours past that point.

2) I think google maps is sponsored by Vacation Ghetto. That's why every route puts you smack-dab in the middle of one.