What a week! Some weeks we have something to do everyday and we are on the go and I get to Friday and wonder where the week went. Some weeks we have nothing planned and I feel like the weekend took forever to get here so we can spend more time with Brian. This week, was a mix - we had relaxing stay-at-home days and we had play-date, go to the pool/sprinkler park days. But I will say: This was, I feel, the toughest week so far as a parent.
Why? I feel like I've said "No" 18 million times this week. I'm sure I'll say it a billion more times in my future but it was like she didn't even hear me when I said it this week. I'm sure my parents are laughing at me as they read this thinking "She did get a child like her." :) But I climbed in bed many times this week feeling defeated/frustrated. I look back at the day and wonder if I told her I loved her more than I said No and/or Stop? Of course, I'm saying No to protect her or to keep to getting into something that could harm her but it's still No. When I say she's into everything, I mean everything. I feel like I can't take her too many places because she will be into it all. I know my almost 14 month old is a toddler and it is normal for them to want to get into things and explore. It's just, at the end of the days this week, I looked over at the monitor to see her sleeping peacefully and prayed that she would know that God and her parents love her dearly. Even though I felt like I was saying No all the time, we did have great moments of playing together, laughing together and snuggle time. She always came running up to me for her to hold her - she knew that even though I got on to her, she was always welcome safe and welcome in my arms. And as I think of that, I am so grateful that God's love for us and that we are always safe and welcome in His arms.
I apologize for my babbling but I just needed to write down my thoughts/feelings. Being Mallory's mother is the most wonderful/rewarding thing I've ever done! I knew it wouldn't be easy and there will be more difficult days ahead but I love watching her grow and learn everyday! I'm so thankful for fellow mommas for their encouragement! I know I'm not alone and I'm not the first Mom to feel this way. Thankfully, we get a new day today to love on our little girl! She will be 14 months tomorrow so I've got to cherish this time.
Speaking of the little girl, here she is in all the pillows on our bed
She woke up from her nap and I put her on our bed while I finished folding laundry. She climbed into all of the pillows and just laid down. It was too cute!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
I'm there with ya :) It's tough some days! They are so curious and want to start testing their limits.
ReplyDeleteYOU are the pefectly picked out momma for Mallory and God will give you strength to finish each day. I like the babbling...honest, mommy blogging is refreshing.
And it's almost YOUR BIRTHDAY!!